Few more days til hubs and I turn 6-months being married!!! 😱 How crazy fast is life?
In the past six months, we’ve managed to achieve quite a feat – finishing the #Skypod (our little home, to those who are new), learning how to manage our expenses, me- learning to cook and do the laundry, Slater- learning basic plumbing and fixing up small things around the house, working together (i help a little teeny bit with Liteblock now), learning family dynamics – all of this on top of juggling each of our full-time separate work lives.
I won’t lie- it took a lot of adjusting. Both of us are sooo similar in a lot of things, but living together as husband and wife has made me see so much of our differences too. From the smallest things- like how often we use our towels or what we like to buy in the grocery to how we like to spend our down time- we aren’t always 100% in sync. It’s not wrong to be different or to have differences, but when you live with someone, it takes a little getting used to. AND- that’s not exactly a bad thing. Change is scary and we tend to think our way is always the right way, but when you look at it from a different perspective, change is also fun. I like it that I’m learning more about Slater every single day. I like it that we both don’t know what we’re doing when we shop from groceries, and that we both make mistakes and grow from them. I like it that we can laugh at each other’s mishaps instead of getting angry. I like it that we are discovering life together and what it means to be one. It’s the journey, not the destination.
Slater and I are sooo blessed (and not in the humble brag way) that we haven’t really had any major hiccups. No huge fights, no drama- just a few undercooked dinners- which was my bad 😛 But hey, I’m still learning. The universe seems to be so kind to us, and we’re forever grateful. Mostly because both of us are so content with our new life and with each other. What more could we ever ask for?
I know it sounds super annoying that we don’t fight and that we seem to have such picture perfect lives, but we are definitely not perfect. And I think what really helps is the fact that we both know that.
The fact that we allow ourselves to err and be human.
The fact that we enjoy the process of growing together, and learning and adjusting to each other.
The fact that we help each other grow, instead of building resentment for what each of us lacks.
No one is perfect. He’s not perfect, but I’m not either. And that’s okay.
Remember that no couple is ever 100% similar- so don’t expect every relationship to be like ours.
Don’t limit your relationship to become what other people think it should be.
Don’t let other couple’s relationships be the measurement of your relationship’s success.
But do take what you can from my life experience and use it positively to better your own. We are all living in this crazy world together, and we all could use each other for support. If this article can help at least one couple out there- then it’s good enough for me.
With all my heart I can honestly say that I’m so lucky to have found Slater because he really grounds me. He is HONESTLY my other half and I’ve grown so much as an individual because of him. His heart is so genuine, his mind is so beautiful and I can only hope to share some of the life changing values he has brought to our home, in hopes that it can change your lives too.
- I used to be so immature when I was in my previous relationships. I’d make mountains out of mole hills or cause fights and drama because I was bored. I couldn’t see that I was doing it back then. Of course it’s always hard to spot your own mistakes. But through a little bit of introspection and letting go of pride, I saw it so clearly. When Slater and I were at our first few months of dating, I remember he’d always just laugh at me when I was being too emotional, or when I worried about something that hadn’t even happened yet. At first, I thought he didn’t care about me but then I realized that his reaction alone made my drama so much lighter. By not riding with it, he made me see that we really cause our own suffering. When we worry about the future, we let go of the present moment. We spend our lives looking towards something that’s not even there. We make the present moment a sad moment, instead of enjoying it for what it really is. Why stress out about something you can’t change? And if you can change- why waste your time stressing out when you can start moving? Most of the time, the drama happens in our heads. If we let go of that, and we appreciate each present moment, then life is so much more meaningful and so much lighter as well.
2. Don’t take life too seriously. We’re all in it for the ride, and we’re all in it together. Might as well make it a fun ride, right?
3. Comparison is the thief of joy. And that one is by Theodore Roosevelt, not Slater lol. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone, and that means I don’t have to compare. I don’t need to buy a million things to show other people what I have. I don’t need to put up an image of who I want the world to see me as. I don’t need to be friends with the who’s who in the world. I don’t need to be anyone other than me. I can take off my shoes, let down my hair and just LIVE and enjoy life. Slater and I are so content to live in our tiny little bubble doing our own little thing, and this is the most beautiful gift we have right now.
I know that there’s a lot more to learn, but I want to be the type of person who knows how to find joy in self-discovery, and I hope you guys are too. At the end of the day, what matters are the relationships you’ve built and the people you have in your life. Treasure them, make time for them and grow with them.